How to be a Gamer with a Family

By Ben Smith Last updated Oct 22, 2019

*This post is mostly satirical and it will be much more humorous if you read it that way*

I’m 29 years old. I’m been married to my beautiful wife Emily for over 5 years now and we have two kids – they’ll be 4 and 2 in October.

Like you, I love video games. Some of my earliest memories revolve around playing video games with my cousins and many of my most memorable moments growing up and even as an adult have some sort of gaming aspect built into them.

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It’s hard trying to play games when you also have to take care of a family and be a good husband and dad, so I’ve come up with these surefire ways to guarantee that everyone else can learn from my experience!

1) Quit your job

I know this sounds a bit extreme, but the biggest hurdle for me when trying to find time to play games is that I have a job and some commitments that go along with it. If you, like the average American worker, have a job where you work 8 hours a day you are wasting very valuable gaming time pursuing your career which you most likely hate. Simply cutting out these 8 hours each day could gain you over 2,000 hours of gaming time – that’s like 87 days!

Count in your commute time, a lunch break, the time you spend getting ready each morning and… wow, you’ve got a lot of extra time on your hands. You could have SO many more Achievements and Trophies in that amount of time.

Oh… money? You don’t need a job for money. You can fill out surveys online and make at least $3 or $4 dollars PER DAY that you can later redeem for magazine subscriptions. You hardly need a job to do that.

2) Don’t hang out with your friends

Friends? Yeah, they really aren’t all that important, nor do they contribute all that highly to your life. Remember the last time you hung out with Steve? He got really drunk and hit on your wife. You don’t need him anyway. And Ethan? He STILL has your copy of Halo 2 that he borrowed. He’s a garbage friend.

Besides, you will make TONS of new friends while gaming online. Sure, some of them might be 12 year old maniacs who love to snipe and call you colorful names for various parts of the human anatomy, but at least you don’t have to see them in person, right?

3) Get an iPad and a subscription to Netflix

This isn’t for you. Watching television would cut into your gaming time WAY too much. This is for the kids. If your kids are like my kids, they always want to be involved with what you are doing UNLESS you give them a distraction. A small screen with Dinotrux playing non-stop will get them out of your hair instantly.

4) Buy blackout curtains

Knowing what time it is and if the sky is dark or light can really impact your mood as well as your desire to be productive. If it’s too light, your body naturally wants to be active and moving. If your windows are blacked out and dark all the time, you can actually trick your brain in to not having a clue what time it is!

Plus, blackout curtains really enhance your gaming experience by preventing glare on your screen. It’s a win all around.

5) Invest in a bucket

This last one is probably the grossest suggestion, but will save you the most time by far. Imagine never having to leave your seat to go to the bathroom – because your seat IS the bathroom. If you go to YouTube there are bound to be some hardcore campers with tutorials on how to make your bucket throne super comfortable and perhaps even disguise it so no-one but you will have a clue what’s happening.

That’s it! Follow these five easy steps and you will have no problem being a gamer with a family.

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In all seriousness, even though gaming is one of my many passions and hobbies, I wouldn’t change a thing in my life – and especially not time with my family. I have been able to include my 3 year old in many gaming experiences and my wife is super supportive of my hobby. Split your time right, involve your family in things when possible, and you can still fit in plenty of gaming time while having a family. Putting my family first has meant that I’ve missed out on some big titles in the past and I will inevitably miss more in the future, but it’s worth it.